Okay, Moms, let’s have some real talk. Whether you are a first time mom, an expectant mom, or an experienced mom, you all have unique experiences and wisdom you have gained during your journey. This new series will be an opportunity for you to share insights you have gained and help your fellow moms on their journeys. Be sure to follow us on social media to find out about future topics.
In this installment of Mom Talk, we are going to look at the pressure new moms face to “get back to normal.” What is normal? When should things get back to normal? And how can you resist the pressure to get back to normal too quickly?
What is “Normal”?
How you define normal will be different for every family. For some, “normal” may be all about your schedule. You’ll feel “normal” when you get back into your established routine of work and home life. For others, “normal” is a physical feeling, the time when their body is healed and restored to its pre-baby state.
However you define “normal,” there is tremendous pressure to return to that state. We see depicted in the media the ideal of the modern wonder-mom who can give birth and be glamorous and fit instantly while perfectly balancing her job and her family. While our rational brains tell us that ideal is only achievable with a lot of money and photoshop, it is still an image that sticks in our brains.
When Should Things Get Back to Normal?
The reality is that having a baby is a life altering event. Everything you thought of as “normal” will need to be adjusted to fit a new normal. Some elements of your life will never be the same, and that is 100% okay! In all things, allow enough time. Stephanie Z recalls “I hurt! Being normal again took time.” Ashlynn S gives this advice – “During that time, remember it doesn’t last forever. Know you are doing the right things, even if baby is fussy…You are still postpartum, it’s okay to still not “jump back into life” so quickly if you can, soak in all the baby cuddles.” How long it takes to feel normal again will be different for every mom. But as Stephanie and Ashlynn said, give it time.
How Can You Resist the Pressure?
Resisting the pressure to get back to normal is not easy. But it is possible. For Julie C, one key was “accepting that it was absolutely ok (and much needed) to eat enough and rest with baby, instead of focusing on losing weight and ‘going back to normal.’”
During the first few months postpartum, your needs and the needs of your baby should be your priority. Ashlynn, quoted earlier, says “Ask for help. It’s totally fine to say ‘Hey, I do need to take a breather.’” Surround yourself with people who will support your journey back to normal, at your pace. Accept help and wisdom but try not to compare your experience with others. You and your experience are unique. Celebrate and honor your own journey.
We’ve helped so many families navigate the difficult first few months at home. If you are struggling, don’t hesitate to ask for help. We can provide you with resources and practical support while you build a new normal.
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